Sunday, May 29, 2011

I hate making my own decisions

Maybe if God made all my decisions for me, I wouldn't get hurt as much. 

"Well you still have to keep praying for discernment. There will still be those times when you'll still have to make your own decisions. That's just part of becoming an adult. If there is no guidance then just weigh it, decide, and lift it up." - Broskee

Thursday, May 19, 2011

The conversion of sinners

Today at Lifeteen bible study, we talked about judgement day and what some people know as the "rapture," because there have been many billboards, advertisements, etc. proclaiming the end of the world on May 21, 2011.One of the things that Scarlet said was how we need to pray for those people and be compassionate towards those people who truly believe that the world will end this Saturday. Why? Because many of those people have given away everything, spent all they had for this particular day. Some are committing suicide because of the idea that "if the world is ending this Saturday, I should save myself the trouble and kill myself today." And all of them are supposed to believe that the world ends this Saturday because they were told that if they doubt, then they won't be taken up to heaven... Now that's a scary place to be in, because now they've "thrown all their eggs in one basket." And yeah, many people (including myself... and I apologize for laughing or mocking any of you) scoff at these people, poke fun at them saying stuff like "So, if the world ends on May 21st, what happens on May 22nd when nothing happens?" The sad part is I never realized how much that could affect them. If someone spent all their savings, sells their house, and gives away everything... do they have a place to live? What about the attacks from all the haters? Will that drive them to committing suicide? Maybe this is no laughing matter...

I think that many people are obsessed about the "judgment day," but I believe that even more are obsessed with  passing judgment on others. Think about it, when Osama bin Laden died, why were people rejoicing over his death? I honestly had mixed feelings when I heard about it, but I don't think it was right for us to rejoice over a man's death, no matter how horrible he was. When was I appointed to sit in the Judge's chair? I am glad that the Church gave a statement about it though. And I'll never get over some reactions I got from others when we all heard about the tsunami in Japan. Who am I to say that "the people in Japan deserved what came to them, they're not a Christian nation"? Rather than spending my time passing judgment, shouldn't I be more compassionate, sit down, and pray for them?

And now our brothers & sisters in Christ who claim the end of the world is coming. Why did I judge you? Why should I laugh at people who are about to commit suicide just for being wrong? Instead, I should have been praying that they don't become a statistic.

If you guys haven't read The Shack, you must read it. One of the chapters talk about sitting in the Judge's chair. Imagine sitting in that chair and having to pass judgment on your family. I have two parents and two brothers and if I was forced to sentence 1 to Hell, I would NEVER want to be sitting in that seat. But I do it daily, constantly passing judgment on strangers, enemies, etc.

Another thing struck me as well. Scarlet mentioned "rapture" and how she tends to shy away from it. I've personally never been a fan of the doctrine, but now I realized why I never liked the idea anyway. She explained it as believing that she will be "saved from all the suffering on earth but leaving behind those people who weren't as good as her to die and suffer". Or something like that (I butchered it and paraphrased cause that's the best I could do!). And I know that many people don't have that kind of mentality when it comes to the rapture (actually, I believe that's what give most their fire to spread the Gospel! To bring as many people to Christ as possible!), and I believe that some who preach it have pure intentions but I can't trust myself to preach anything that will tempt me to sin. I'm already doing it outside of spreading the Gospel! I'm already judging people at church, "setting by example" on how to be a good Christian. I can't be tempted to have that mentality any more than I already am, as sad as that sounds.

Instead, I have to stick with this: praying for the conversion of sinners. I'm not talking about people aside from myself, I'm talking about mostly myself. I need conversion. Every. Single. Day. I need to stop choosing myself and make that choice to choose Christ every single day. And I need to pray for everyone else too. Another thing that Scarlet mentioned (wow, she was on a roll today): It's harder to convert someone who already believes they're living in the light, when they're not.. than someone who actually knows they're in the dark and at least recognize it but aren't ready yet. I need to pray for the know-it-all's (like me), the ignorant (like me), the proud (like me), the reluctant (like me). So I urge you, to pray for yourself, and for people like me, and for everyone as well:

Dear Lord, I pray for the Conversion of Sinners
for all of us who require daily conversion
for those who are dearest to me, my family and friends
for those not following You, but themselves
for those inside and out of Your church, ignorant of Your truths
for those who are falling away from Your truths,
for all who are considering or following a false religion
for those trying to earn their way to Heaven
for the ones who do not even consider You
Please Lord, convert their minds and hearts, to truly
know You, love You and always be obedient to Your Word,
and then bring them home to live with You for all Eternity.

Amen.

God alone suffices.


Let nothing disturb you,
Let nothing frighten you,
All things pass away:
God never changes.
Patience obtains all things.
He who has God
Finds he lacks nothing;
God alone suffices.

-St. Teresa of Avila

Friday, May 6, 2011

Hope this makes sense.

"For many months, we've been teased, even derided for talking about hope. But we always knew that hope is not blind optimism. It's not ignoring the enormity of the tasks ahead or the roadblocks that stand in our path.
It's not sitting on the sidelines or shirking from a fight. Hope is that thing inside us that insists, despite all the evidence to the contrary, that something better awaits us if we have the courage to reach for it and to work for it and to fight for it... Hope is the bedrock of this nation. The belief that our destiny will not be written for us, but by us, by all those men and women who are not content to settle for the world as it is, who have the courage to remake the world as it should be." - Obama; Iowa caucus victory speech

Call me naive, call me foolish, but I have hope. Lately, people have been telling me to "face reality," that my dreams and the desires of my heart are "unrealistic ," that "life isn't some fairytale." And I honestly feel bad for those people who have become calloused because of pain. And yeah, its unfortunate that truly talented people never taste fame or that hard-working people lose their raise to someone who doesn't nearly try as hard as them or that people don't end up with the person they thought they were going to marry or that broken families and poverty and hate exist in our society. It sucks because we see and feel these things and we become cynical, and there's hardly any room for faith, hope, and love.

We lose faith in God, other people, and ourselves. Why? Because someone other than us has to be blamed. We blame God for war, poverty, death - then we lose faith in God. We blame people for hurting us - then we lose faith in those people and we hardly let anyone else in after that. But we'll hardly genuinely ever blame ourselves - and when we finally do, we lose faith in ourselves because we "let it happen in the first place" or it's too late or too big of a problem to fix on our own.

So then we lose hope, and cynicism directs our every emotion and action. We become pessimists and so now pessimism  is labeled reality. So you're telling me only one in a million will have a "happy ending" with their (fill in dream here). That makes 999,999 unhappy people. But I bet the only reason things never work out with those 999,999 people is because they needed hope that they didn't have. They give up halfway, assume the worst (you negative nancy's and lay-down larry's!), and they go down that road that was pretty much avoidable just by being optimistic. Don't be that person that believes that we are predestined to fail. Believe that you can do what you want to do, and hope in the Lord who will give you the grace to do it. "Take what you can, give nothing back!" (Sorry, I've been watching pirates of the caribbean)