Bedtime Scripture!

So... 11 days felt like a long time. Updates, updates. Well! I've been struggling in Calculus and when finals rolled around, I was scared senseless. When I found out I got a B on the final, I was ecstatic since it raised my grade from a 66 to a 77%! Crazy, huh? But honestly, like I'm not even exaggerating or trying to make this story sound cute or whatever. I seriously don't know how I could've managed that if God wasn't helping me out. SERIOUSLY. When I went through that test, I skipped about 10-15 questions out of 30. When I went back to it, it was though the HS was taking the test for me. AHAH. Not saying he can only pull off B's (I'm pretty sure He can get something greater than an A), but God's grace man. Oddly enough, I am a pessimist. I'm proved wrong countless times. Mara, Nazh, and Oliver know very well! I'm glad I was proved wrong here (:

Hmm.. What else? Oh, so Thursday for LT Bible Study, we covered 1 Corinthians 12:31-13:13 and Luke 4:21-30. I just want to share one thing (for now, since we covered  A LOT of ground). That we are all supposed to "respect, restore, and love every personal equally."  Hmmm.. Mother Teresa of Calcutta is my greatest example of that. And hey! It appears as if I wrote about her in a post earlier! But yeah. Love her despite her beliefs (whether it be atheism or Christianity), love him despite his temper, love them despite their controlling personality, etc. Show the same love you show to your mom, your brother/sister, friend, boyfriend/girlfriend, that one stranger!

But yeah! I know I'm just touching up on them, but if you're really curious, I encourage you to do some studying on your own! Go attend Bible Study, go to Mass, go have lunch with SOMEONE.

What I really wanted to share though:

Psalm 54:5-11

For he who has become your husband is your Maker; his name is the LORD of hosts; 

Your redeemer is the Holy One of Israel, called God of all the earth.

The LORD calls you back, like a wife forsaken and grieved in spirit,

A wife married in youth and then cast off, says your God.

For a brief moment I abandoned you, but with great tenderness I will take you back.

In an outburst of wrath, for a moment I hid my face from you;

But with enduing love I take pity on you, says the LORD, your redeemer.

this is for me like the days of Noah, when I swore that the waters of Noah should never again deluge the earth;

So I have sworn not to be angry with you, or to rebuke you.

Though the mountains leave their place and the hills be shaken, 

My love shall never leave you nor my covenant of peace be shaken says the LORD, who has mercy on you.

O afflicted one, strom-battered and unconsoled. 

I lay your pavements in carnelians and your foundations in sapphires.

Why does this strike me so? Well, I got some background information. I've been studying up on some theology pertaining especially to Covenant. God's covenant with man through the ages. So I'm just gonna hit some points real quick! And these are points that our Church Fathers have learned and passed on, what theologians have discovered, and all that good jazz. My source is... Scott Hahn! (: What makes covenants differ from contracts are two major differences:

1. Contracts are promises, whereas covenants are oaths where God is our witness. Covenants are wayy more serious, trust me.
2. A contract is an exchange of property, while a covenant is an exchange of persons. Instead of saying "this is yous, this is mine", a covenant goes along the lines of "I am yours, you are mine"

So if we look throughout Scripture, we see how God is after our hearts--so much that he wants to make these "sacred kinship bonds" in order for us to be a part of his royal family. So much that God wants to make COVENANTS that cannot be broken.

Which is WHYYYY the above verses strike me so! God has made covenants with his people. You, me, everyone who wants to be a part of that is welcome. But see, these covenants have bonds that are so strong, that not even God can break them. He doesn't want to, out of his love for us. His mercy, love, tenderness overcome all the times he wanted to abandon us for good, feel wrath, hurt. His love for us is so strong. He knew what was gonna happen even after the flooding in Noah's time. He knows what you and I are going to do tomorrow. But He chose to make this these covenants before all these things happen, because He's after our hearts. He wants to make sacred bonds with us that He, you, me cannot break. So as you sleep tonight, think about your day. And think about how you've made an effort on your side of the bargain errr.. bond. Can we choose to live our days after His own heart. Can we be the "man after his own heart" (1 Samuel 13:14) just as King David was?

There's another challenge! It appears as if I'm full of challenges. Pray that I'll be able to live it out as well! ^_^

God Bless!

Brotherfriend (:

Words of a Seminarian: but ya, if theres one piece of advice i could give you (well probably a lot, but for now one) well its that, when you pursue god's will, he will provide many consolations in your life, meaning many graces many points of joy and happiness because its only natural that when you follow his will, true joy follows and you're already experiencing that, amidst gatherings, and sharings right? but! remember all these consolations and joys, write them down, record them in your heart, for in following God's will, there will be a great number of trials and obstacles. so remember those consolations, because they will get you through those times of desolation.

I think this piece of advice will come in handy in the future. And I just want to keep this up here, knowing there's a possibility that these words may affect someone other than me as well. Hearing this advice also reminds me of something Kuya Pat once told us during a service team meeting: You've tasted a piece of heaven, now fight for it. I understand that following God's will is a battle and through these little joys I experience, I realize that He's preparing me for the ultimate joy that will come after I leave this place. And so these next four years with college life is another chapter where I'm going to taste a piece of heaven every day, and experience trials and homesickness at the same time. But, just you wait. With God's grace, and His grace alone, I'll overcome it all. I'm going to fight for it. Thanks, Rence.

Some stuff I really need to get around to...

HOMEWORK.
Finish The Screwtape Letters by C.S. Lewis
Start the workbook for Theology of the Body by Pope John Paul II
Start Saint Thomas Aquinas|Saint Francis of Assisi by G.K. Chesterton
Listen to some Scott Hahn Podcasts


What to do, what to do...

Oh yeah! And Unconcert Auditions went well! Honestly, even if I don't get in, I'm glad I was able to send out my message to a handful of people. Dude, the band room was pretty full when I sang .. Praise God! (:

But "Forever" is MOST DEFINITELY in the bag! <3

Peace easy! God Bless<3

My Vocation story

When I got accepted to Franciscan University, I wasn't quite sure if I wanted to actually go there. I was excited that I got accepted, but I didn't know if it was going to be part of God's plan. To be honest, I was torn. This past year, I just realized how much my family means to me (especially since Kuya left), I realized how true my friends were (People who've I've grown to love after 4 or more years), and I realized the love behind my parish and my community with FCJC here at home. It's funny. Cause I realized all of this a little late.

But Saturday night, Tito Bill asked me to give a sharing for the Monthly Gathering. And so that night, I tried to think of things to share. There has to be something, right? God is always victorious and I just want to let everyone know that He is! The next day, I still haven't figured out what to say. And when the gathering started, I just asked God to help me out, cause I wanted to share His glory with everyone! So, Tito Reggie gave his talk and he was just talking about not being prepared as well (coincidence?), but the Holy Spirit led him to his notebook, and a title struck him: We were made for a mission. And throughout this talk, several things struck ME:

1. Evangelization starts in the home, our communities. Then you set forth "to the ends of the earth" 
2. When we are called, and when we respond to that call with "Use me" we get exactly what we ask, and we can't use finance, distance, or relationships get in the way of our service. We have to have the early apostles' attitudes of dropping everything to follow Jesus.

 And so what I got out of these tidbits is that I want to bring my mom and dad back into the community, before I go out and do my own thing. I also learned that since I was called, I can no longer turn back from it. And.. I finally understood that God was calling me to Franciscan. I can't let distance interfere with my service, even if it means a little bit of suffering. This next chapter in my life, I have a new cross to bear. But "with every crucifixion, there's a resurrection." And BAM! With that realization, I knew what I had to share. Holy Spirit, FTW! >:O YEAHHH.

After I shared (oh, I cried too), I just got a lot of support from the Community. Adult I haven't seen for months came up to me after the gathering and congratulated me, telling me that they were gonna pray for me. Man, I wanted to cry so much, but I'm strong! >:O ahaha When I got to church, I got even more congratulations, and a lot of affirmation. And people were excited for me, and I felt at peace knowing that this is something God wanted me to do. He was just reaffirming His plan for me through these people.

Then Mass started, And Fr. Marcial Juan's first words were: Baptism isn't the end, it's the beginning of a mission. He also challenged us to share our Vocation Story, and I don't know if this is technically a vocation story. I know that it's something pretty close to it. WTHECKKK. Coincidence? No. After the Mass, Brennen and I were talking about how the Holy Spirit works. How if everyone listens to the Holy Spirit, then it's just all of us playing into God's plan!

Like if I never read Uncle Rick's email updates about the FCJC Gathering, I would have never gone to the gathering. I would have never did my sharing. I would have never figured out what God wants me to do. I would have never figured out what the Homily would really mean for me.

It's these little things that we hardly notice. That may change the rest of our lives--forever.

And just to end this thang. Something I learned from Tito Reggie. I just want to let you know that the Mission Jesus Christ set out before us--to bring people the Good News--is the very reason our hearts are still beating. Why has He not taken us as soon as we have come to accept Jesus as our Lord and Savior? Because we have yet to complete the work Jesus started. Notice how Mass ends after a prayer, right after the high point of the Mass (the Eucharist) is because it's a commissioning. It's not the end, but a beginning. The last verses of Matthew (28:16-20). It wasn't an ending of a great story, but a beginning of a new mission. So as Jesus said "Go, therefore, and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son , and of the holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I amd with you always, until the end of the age." (Mt 28:19-20)

To Anonymous & everyone else.

So apparently, I can't comment on my own blog, so here's my message for you!

Thanks so much for taking the time to read this blog. And most especially for your wonderful affirmation message. It's humbling to know that none of these things that I do for Him could have been done without the guidance of the Holy Spirit. It just goes to show how endless the possibilities are when we listen to the Holy Spirit. My goal in making this blog was to show how victorious God is in my life, and how much of an impact He is in our everyday lives. And so it's even more amazing to know that it has affected at least one person. To God be the glory!

But yeah. If you ever need ANYTHING. Prayers or anything at all, I'm just one comment away. Or facebook, even! Just make sure to identify yourself cause I get scared (: ahahah! But yeah. Catholic = universal. And we are one big Christian family. And part of our duty as brothers and sisters is to be there for one another. SO yeah. Take care and God bless!

Keep fighting the good fight (:

My Dream School

So, I'm afraid to boast, but I can't help but share how God is victorious in my life! I got accepted in my dream school, Franciscan University of Steubenville, Ohio. It's a faith-based school that attracted me in so many ways (once I became open to it). To be honest, I'm scared senseless to go there because that just means I'm going to be away from family and relatives, close friends, the Church I grew spiritually in, the youth group that molded me, etc. But I know that I'll learn to be uprooted from the foundation of everything I mentioned, and be grounded solely in God's love.

I'm just so grateful for all the support I've been receiving, from Rence who told me to go for it, to Mariel who was there to talk me through this, to family and Kuya who want to be selfish and keep me home but know that they have to let me go at one point, to friends near and far who share in my joy and continue to pray for me. The list goes on and on. Thank you especially to Kuya and Gian who've given me the sweetest messages everrr!

Anywho, I just want to share the essay I turned in with my application. While writing this essay, God revealed to me (through John), that "I am not an experience-seeker" or a "Franciscan-seeker," but a God seeker. And I'm just praying that I listen to God's will, whether Franciscan will be a part of His plan or not!

My essay:

My youth music minister once wrote a song with these lyrics: “You are the one that my heart sings, a passion for my King of Kings.” These words define the very meaning of my existence. My passion for singing and my capacity of both my mind and heart are the strengths that I cannot call my own; instead, I can say God gave me these gifts to build His Church. I grew up afraid to share my voice since I was very self-conscious. The same music minister who wrote those lyrics was the same one that forced me to join the choir at my parish, pushing me beyond my comfort zone. Sure enough, my way of thinking changed as I turned my fear into an offering. I became confident as I started placing my trust in Him, and I knew with each song that I lived to please Him. I consider the capacity of my mind and the capacity of my heart as two of my greatest strengths. Since “the same power that conquered the grave lives in me,” (“You Are Here/The Same Power” – Hillsong) I know that wisdom can have no limit and love knows no bounds. I am eager to find answers to my questions and learn as much as I can both about the Catholic faith and the Spirit that moves it. For instance, one of the most important things I have come to understand is that I cannot love others without loving Him first. By applying this to my relationships with family and friends, as well as interactions with new people I meet, God shows me a love I have never experienced before. Knowing Who dwells in me, and knowing that I live for Him makes the possibilities endless for me, as an ambassador for the Truth.

I know God wants me to become more like His Son and although I know I can never amount to anywhere near good enough, I feel that Franciscan will mold me to become close to what God wants me to be. Today, I am a person grounded in my faith, family, friends, and in my youth group. I am someone whose faith is borrowed from strong warriors. I am someone who constantly needs guidance and wisdom. I know that going to a faith-based school will only take me so far, but I feel Franciscan University is a school that will teach me how to make God the center of my life—it’s going to bring me closer. God wants me to be someone grounded solely in His love. He wants me to be someone whose faith is borrowed from His Son, Jesus Christ. He wants me to become an intelligent individual with child-like obedience so He can shepherd me.

An education at Franciscan University would best complement my learning style as well as my desire to learn more about my faith. As a member of a close-knit family and a Catholic community, I have grown to love an intimate learning environment. I also believe that being surrounded by hundreds of believers my age everyday inspires me to become more like Him. I love the idea of being in walking distance of an Adoration Chapel and the “heaven-on-earth” atmosphere seven days a week. Since I want to grow closer to Jesus Christ and bring people closer to Him, I believe that attending Franciscan University will further equip me with the necessary tools to learn more about, and defend, my faith.

Let's do it!

You can skip this next paragraph if you want (it's just me babbling about why I'm crazy and up all night)

Well, I'm fired up! And its 5:50 a.m. I guess I'll explain my craziness. Well. Wednesday night, I had a lot of homework to complete, so.. I pulled an all nighter, didn't end up finishing my stuff anyway. Ahaha. So I had a paper due this morning at 6:00 am and I wanted to do it last night, but like I said, I didn't finish. Hm.. Thursday (yesterday) I went to Adoration Chapel to do my Examination of Conscience, and then I went inside the Church to wait for Confession. I knocked out on on of the pews and I swear I heard someone say "What is this girl doing here?" I hope I didn't snore >_< Went to Confession. When I got home, I jumped in on some discussion entititled: Purgatory- True or False? Ahahaha. So I went on there, and I gave some of my input, and then I decided to do some research on my own. Took a nap for two hours (9-11) But I had to do my homework first, so I did that and got myself caught up for Econ. while I was at it. So I listened to a Podcast this past hour, played stuff over and over again so I could follow along with Scripture. Ahaha. I don't know why I'm babbling. BUT TO MY REAL MESSAGE!

Just learning about Purgatory inspired me, because I not only learned about this little aspect about my faith, but the message I received this morning was that God expects more of me! In such a good way though! (Side note: What I learned is that those who may have died physically, but have Christ in their hearts are VERY MUCH ALIVE. More alive than you and me, which is why I don't find it odd when I ask saints to pray for me.) Keeping THAT in mind, the love of Christ that I have in my heart right now should be used to it's full potential. Because when we get to heaven that love will be perfected. But why wait till heaven to experience heaven on earth? Why wait till heaven to bring heaven on Earth? I know I'm very impatient, at times I can be short-tempered, but I just wanna change for the better. I want to bring heaven on earth--and I'm going to do that with the love of Christ that God has given me. And no, it doesn't necessarily mean I'll be hunting you down to go to Bible Studies with me, but something much simpler but more profound. Opus Dei! I want to show you the love of Christ through ordinary conversations, hang outs, lunches, etc. But yeah, I realized that now that I've learned another Truth today (that God wants more from me) I can't just ignore it. I have to do something about it. Pray for me?

Challenge: Pray for someone that has passed away recently. Whether you know/don't know them, know that when they're in heaven, the Love that is perfected in them "remembers more and prays more." You won't be forgotten because they want to bring YOU to God's throne since they know what it's like. They want to share it with us. Yee yee? (:

"Lord, I pray for ______, may you purify them and refine them Lord, so that you may perfect Your love in them. Amen."

Peace out! <3

P.S. If you want to listen to that Podcast
If you like that, go to this site. It's my new friend (:

God bless!

Still can't do anything yet...

So might as well blog. I don't even know if my head's in the right place as of now. But, again. Here goes nothing... errr everything.

Currently listening to:
C.S. Lewis Song - Brooke Fraser
Based on Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis.

I don't know if the rest of the lines are from that book, but I know the first couple of lines are from Mere Christianity. Btw, I totally recommend that book. You can be atheist, someone who's getting into the faith, devout Christian, etc. You'll definitely learn something new. My favorite lines:

If I find in myself desires nothing in this world can satisfy
I can only conclude that I, I was not made for here.

Alright, this may be hard to understand... at least it was hard for me when I heard it the first time. But when it was explained to me in the book, it clicked! All right. So basically we have wants and desires, but no matter HOW HARD WE TRY, we always seem to be missing something. We can have all the money in the world, but we can't buy happiness. We can have 1,234,523,234 friends, but we can still feel lonely. We can have all the fame in the world, but still have a broken life. We can chase all these things of this world that seem to make us happy, but come short at the end. This means that all these earthly things we tend to be after (yes, I'm guilty too! All those material things that make me grow attached to this world) aren't ENOUGH to fill that GREATER DESIRE. We have desires for something that is not of THIS world. I've said this often (and all of a sudden my ideas are starting to come together): We have an affinity for Jesus Christ. What is it that draws us to Him? Why do we see atheists joining Christian groups? Why do we see the lukewarm Christians asking questions, after such a long time? So now we know we have a desire for Jesus Christ, and it just goes to show that we were not meant for this world, but in the next.

Don't misunderstand me, though. C.S. Lewis also explains that the things in this world are not bad, or that we should take the blessings we recieve on this earth for granted. They are, I guess, sneak previews of what we're REALLY going to receive.

Sorry if I was all over the place tonight. It's currently 1:24 am

But yeah, I just encourage you to read Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis. It can answer questions such as... Can God microwave a hot pocket that's too hot for Him to eat? Think about it. (:

Upset.

Angry, annoyed, mad, upset, disgruntled, aggravated, impatient, irate, upset, upset,... oh, did i mention upset?

The joys of wasting my winterbreak away... it always bites me in the butt. Here goes nothing for the end of second semester.